Purity Is Not About You.
- pantyprotectionpro
- Jun 8, 2017
- 5 min read
As Shondy and I prepare to go to Haiti one thing we have come to understand is that we are going to be ministering to women who come from broken families, backgrounds, and have experienced abuse and pain from men and women. We understand that when we are fighting against disbelief and doubt that we are also fighting for these women the Lord has called us to. As I have reflected on this, The Lord has revealed things to my heart about my own fight to remain pure before Him. He has shown me that my fight for purity in my relationship is not just for myself but for these beautiful women and girls who have yet to know Him. What I've written below is a conversation between The Lord and I when He asked me to give myself and relationship to Him. My prayer is that whether you are in a relationship or not, that God would use this to speak to your hearts desires and fears. I hope that this will encourage you to pursue Him wholly despite what the world says. Let His words breathe life into your heart, brokenness, and dreams, as you trust Him with every detail of your life. Love, Sofia.
Waiting
The wait…it gets harder each day. It’s funny because the harder it gets the stronger we get.
Why do we have to wait? Why are we set apart? While the world lives off of how it feels we are told to deny our feelings and wait. Why? Because our flesh is deceitful and when we obey it we break. So we must depend on something greater than flesh. It is hard when you love someone so much, not to kiss them, not to give yourself to them. Kissing, it’s natural, created by God, intended for man, to bond and become one flesh. It is sacred and holy and represents a love, much greater than our own. So why wait? Why wait to uncover the hidden parts of our bodies when we have already uncovered the hidden parts of our souls? Why wait for intimacy when we already consider another before ourselves? Why wait? These questions ring in my ears often. I present it to my Father. Crying and moping I say “Why do I have to wait?” I know the answer, at least the one that is always given. "Marriage first, then it will be blessed. Honor God with your body, keep the marriage bed pure…” But sometimes these answers don’t silence the questions, they just add more. It’s in these moments I need my Father to grab by face and look me in the eyes. I need Him to be real with me and speak into the questions with clarity and truth. I don’t need any sugar coating, I need raw truth. He says this,
“Will you do this for me so that others will come to know who I am?”
Wow, okay, this is a tough one. The creator of the ocean, stars, mountains, and skies just asked me to do something for Him. Not something easy like, give this person $5 or help your mom clean the kitchen. But something heavy, full, and hard. Something with such a great weight to it that I feel as if I will collapse under His words.
“Will you do this for the daughter who does not yet know I am her Father?” Tears are coming now.
“How can we do this? It’s impossible, too hard, this is not fair.”
“I will help you.”
“Why us?”
“Why not?”
“Because we can’t, it’s too hard, we aren’t strong enough, and we’re too broken and weak. We’ve already messed up in our past. Can you chose someone else please?”
“No, you both are what I am looking for. I can only use people like you to display my Glory.”
“How long will we have to wait?”
“I cannot tell you that, I need you to trust me and if I told you, you would not need to trust me.”
“But it’s so hard, we love each other so much.”
“I know it is hard, I have not asked you to do something easy. You will be mocked, even by people who know me. You will be tempted to give in beyond your breaking point. You will get angry, sad, and impatient. But in my arms you will be safe. I will enable you both to do this but you must come to me and depend on me.”
“Will it be worth it?”
There is silence for a moment.
“My child, nothing I ask of you is wasted. If you trust me with your life and his. If you honor me even when your flesh wants something else, I can assure you that this journey will bring you closer to me, it will bring others closer to me, and will be so worth every second of waiting. Will you trust me?”
More silence…Now I am faced with a decision. Trust my Father, give up my desires for a time, and honor the marriage bed. Or do what I want, what I feel. Both have consequences, but only one has power wrapped in beauty.
“I’m scared, what if we can’t do it? What if takes too long and we give in?”
“Do not fear, I am with you, I am with him. I will uphold you both, helping you and giving you a way to escape every temptation. With me you can do it. With me you will not lose but will always find forgiveness, grace, and strength. I am protecting you from pain, regret, and setting you up for power, and a release of healing to other people. I want to use you and Him because of your past, and your flaws. I have redeemed you both and want the world to see the power of my love through your story.”
“Okay, Father. Your will be done.”
So there it is. Giving up moments of instant gratification so that others may come to know Him. It has been a journey, and not one that is easy. There have been tears and many prayers. Some ask “why put yourself through this? Just kiss, move in together, live how you want.” But I can’t help but think of those daughters and sons who are out there that have yet to know their Father. And I can’t help but remember my Father’s words to me, the words that compelled me to give Him my yes. I know that our yes will result in salvation for others. Healing and freedom will come out of this. If He could say in his darkest moment “thy will be done.” Then I too, through His power, can also say these words. We have been called to be different and to give up our selves for the truth. Yes we are waiting, but we are getting stronger through the wait and closer to the heartbeat of the One who makes all things new.
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